


Only Human

by Yuuchansan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Yakuza, Hacking, M/M, Titans, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-09-23
Packaged: 2018-01-15 22:38:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1321801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuuchansan/pseuds/Yuuchansan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>FREE ERERI!</p><p>Ahem, now I have your attention, hi there :D </p><p>Isn't it nice, you, me, this cute little summary bubble? Speaking of summaries, did you know I can't write them? What? You neither?? Look, we already have so much in common ^o^ </p><p>(However, summaries are necessary, here is mine ^_^ My only beguilement to get you to open this is that I will keep my promise. You /will/ get free Ereri. Now, isn't that a good deal? :D )<br/>A simple life is all Eren Jaeger desires after his mother's death, wishing for nothing more than an escape from the nightmares that creep the corridors of his mind. But looking for an escape within that one person may become a decision he would be unable to break away from.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Every single read of this is much appreciated and before you start, I offer my personal thanks for giving me your readership ( ＾◡＾)っ❤ I am happy to accept any words of wisdom you may have to offer to help make the story more enjoyable ^__^
> 
> I've been looking forward to contributing to this fandom, so there may be many edits along the way ^_^ Please let me know if there are any mistakes or cringe worthy moments, I tend to write first and edit later, unfortunate though it is ^^'
> 
> Points to know? This is an AU :D Alright, away with the obvious, this is an AU concerning Eren attending an International University in Tokyo after being adopted by Mikasa's mother (I promise this was incidental irony…maybe). But whilst it will start and possibly continue for a while with a soft plot, I plan to create a darker storyline to affect the characters, particularly Eren and Levi. 
> 
> Quick notes:
> 
> 乂 Eren is 20, with Levi being around 25-27, so the age gap is not as glaring
> 
> 乂 The University is located in Meguro, an area of Tokyo that is quite removed from the mainstream locations of Harajuku and Shibuya
> 
> 乂 I will most likely update whenever I feel the urge to write so I'm hoping to be fairly relaxed but about once a week ^^
> 
> 乂 My French is awful, as is my German, feel free to correct or just laugh at me when I fail miserably ヾ(◍’౪`◍)ﾉﾞ
> 
> *
> 
> First snk work, please enjoy ಠﭛಠ

People often tend to bring flowers to a funeral. Pale, waxen petals that lay within the confines of countless vases, their thick scent seeming to drape over every object it found in its wake. Perhaps the smell intoxicated others. I found it disgusted me.

As such, I hadn't been much of a cheerleader when it came to attending any such gathering. Or celebration. Or really anything that involved the presence of flowers. They disgusted me.

As such, come the wake of my mother, I stayed back from the coffin, not being able to bring myself to gaze upon the careful patching that so cleverly disguised the self-inflicted shatter across her skull, born from a bullet. I'd strayed from answers towards the reason for her death, preferring to keep myself in naivety. Because with death, removing the reality from the processes of the mind tended to allow room to avoid falling to despair. Far better to deny than to crave resolution for an act that could never be resolved.

There was a single group that came to the ceremony, one that left their image imprinted in my memory. Suits, deep, black and crisp, not a particular drawing feature amongst the sea of midnight most attendees seemed to don. But their faces, faces that caught my attention from my seat against the window, polished wood at odds with the rough woollen blanket I'd strewn across it, content not to move I would've said, until my mother returned home.

These men that arrived in sleek black cars, fronted by a figure I refused to meet the eye of, faces devoid of empathy, or even a forced smile of condolence. My father, approaching me as they cast searching eyes over the room, taking my hands and telling me to remain in my room for the rest of the evening.

And then the footsteps as he disappeared amongst the crowd, a sole figure clad in brown amongst the sea of black. The man at the forefront of the group striving forwards to the door, not reaching it before I heard the soft clink of the car's ignition, so particular to the vehicle my father seemed to prefer to spend the majority of his waking hours in. I did not cry when he left. Why cry for a man I'd barely known?

A patron from the congregation that had sent my father fleeing turned to me, eyes roving over the crouched form of my figure to the lack of care in my gaze. It was his face that I came to register in that moment. Pure, sculptural lines that carved a face that possessed an eerie beauty. The face of a man whose own eyes lay cast in shadow, irises flat, like the colour of rainwater. And a mouth that seemed to have not the ability to shift from thin, emotionless line. Yet, perhaps something within my apathy, a single moment of amusement, caused him to smile.

*

With a quick curve of my thumb, I hit the control button on my console and sent the head of an enemy soldier rolling, my mouth lifting to something resembling a smile. Of course, the terrible graphics that accompanied the game made the entire scene hilarious, with the blood appearing to have the consistency of red jelly, wobbling its way across the screen.

Outside, a screen of lights was cut across the horizon, topped by a thousand red eyes that marked the peaks of the buildings high enough to be lost to the clouds. It had been five years since I'd arrived in Tokyo, yet my mind never seemed to be at ease amongst the constant thrum the city offered. As far as I was concerned, I remained back in Rothenburg, my mother alive and my father not abroad and being forced to send food allowances to me every month. Which consequently lay unused in the bottom drawer of my desk.

I'd been declared 'officially orphaned' come my sixteenth birthday, a revelation that had left me unable to stay at my family home in Germany or return to England for my schooling. As such, I'd done what I'd always selfishly taken the opportunity to do. Rely on others.

Mikasa Ackerman was the product of Rothenburg's tourist administrator marrying the sole woman of Japanese extraction in the district, a member of my class whom had possessed little ability to interact until I provoked her into throwing me against a wall on our first day. It was an interesting way to make a friend, but after her father's death, her mother saw fit to officially adopt me into their family, forcing me away from my home but at least giving me a solid foundation from which to build myself up again. Or at least attempted to. 

The university campus was located in Meguro, an area that I had come to restrain myself to since arriving, much to the chagrin of Mikasa, who never failed to find me paused at the train station, caught between taking the line straight to Narita and boarding a plane back home or staring at the tracks, lost in thought. 

But as my self-appointed sister since the age of eight, I allowed her to ween me back to the world that I'd happily avoided since arriving in Japan. I'd improved certainly, even more so as we separated from the main Japanese high school stream and into the International University, which brought with it a friend of mine from England, Armin Arlert, who'd promised me the day I'd left the school that he would study to gain a position as an interpreter in Japan, not wishing to lose ten years of friendship to international borders. 

Life had improved for me, in small portions, but it was steadily approaching a point where I could function at a level where I could pass as a normal human being. Not the person whose mother had committed suicide come his fifteenth birthday. Not the person whose father had been absent for five years. And certainly not the person whose dreams were plagued with images of smiles worn on pale lips, situated beneath silver eyes. But recently, perhaps that later image was returning to haunt me.

I'd barely had time to rearm myself before a small square of light lit up beside me, buzzing incessantly until I pulled down my headphones, allowing the tone call of dull bells to tell me it was Armin. Dubiously, I moved my thumb over the base of the 'accept call' button, wondering how long it would take exactly for him to get pissed off before hearing my avatar get shot onscreen, making my decision for me. 

"Eren, every time I call you, I swear you take close to a light-year to answer".

The exasperated voice coming through the speaker of my phone was enough to draw the previously lurking smile back over my lips and I rolled my shoulders back, pushing away from my computer and propping my feet up on the desk.

"Yeah, sorry, I was busy. Reiner lent me a load of games and I thought I'd try them out" I replied, picking up the cover to one of the game disks and spinning it over in my hand, barely registering the text that proclaimed just exactly how gloriously gruesome the game promised to be.

"…Try them out at six a.m? Eren, I'm lucky to have you out of bed by nine, and that's with the promise of treating you to breakfast".

Six? Since when?

Frowning, I looked back over at the small bar at the top of my phone screen, declaring in tiny digits that it was indeed five to six. Shit.

"Ah, well, the thing about that is-" I began, only to be cut off by Armin's quick deduction.

"You played through the night, didn't you? You told me you couldn't go out because you had a paper to finish, I should've known something was wrong. Eren Jaeger, doing homework. It'd be less shocking to see you sprout wings and fly away"

Hey, I did look at the paper-"

"And it didn't go far past looking, did it?"

Really, evading Armin was like trying to lie your way through the Spanish Inquisition.

"Okay, no. But I needed some time just to forget about all of that shi-stuff" I corrected myself, Armin wasn't particularly fond of swearing. "And I got caught up and didn't keep track of the time. It's not a big deal, really, don't freak out. And don't tell Mikasa".

There was a soft sigh from Armin's end of the phone and I could almost imagine him, on the opposite end of the dorm, perched on his bed and ready for term to commence, only to be met with the fact that his best friend might be slipping into old habits again. Well, what he thought were old habits. My sleep patterns weren't exactly regular.

"Okay, I won't let anything slip. But Eren, if you're having issues with sleep again…I'd like to help".

Yeah, I'd appreciate some help to.

"Like I said, it's fine. It was a good game". Lies. It was the shittiest game I think I'd ever subjected my poor computer drive to "I'll meet you for breakfast in twenty, just let me get ready".

"Alright, see you then. I'm coming to your door to pick you up" he replied, a note of pity in his voice that immediately made my stomach twist. 

"Right, see you then" was all I managed before tossing the phone onto my untouched bed and sighing, running both hands back through my hair. Today would be awful. Especially when I had to be subjected to class with Jean Kirstein supplied with exactly zero hours of sleep.

And so, I turned back to survey the pile of clothes shoved into a heap in the corner of the room, picking something out that didn't look as though it had been left in a crinkled ball for weeks on end.

*

"Wow Jaeger, just when I thought you couldn't get any uglier"

The voice echoing across the room belonged to exactly the person I had not wanted to see that morning. Jean Kirstein was barely a year older than Armin and I, but damn, did he think this awarded him some basic right to be a complete dick. It was Armin's hand on my arm that stopped me from sticking my middle finger up to his face in front of the rest of my classmates, guiding me over to the stairs and keeping it in position until we had found our seat.

"Really though, you look like a fucking racoon. Couldn't wipe your eyeliner off in time for class?" Jean snickered, leaning back on his arms so that he could grin at me from two seats down.

"That's enough Jean" came a quieter voice and I was relieved to find Jean's (possibly only) friend Marco take his seat beside the horse-faced moron, shooting me an apologetic look before hitting his friend (albeit a little too gently) with his textbook. Good thing he did, seeing as I was about to take Jean's head off with my own.

The class continued to chatter inanely after Jean's attempted bravado, Armin included, happily reciting what he had managed to complete over the summer in terms of projects, even propping open his kitsch yellow diary to display the perfectly ruled schedule he had illustrated for himself.

"So, if things go according to plan, I can tutor you occasionally. I don't think Professor Shadis will appreciate you plugging in your headphones every time he opens his mouth" Armin chided lightly, watching me with something between amusement and worry.

"Ah, Keith" I sighed with a contented smile "We have a complicated relationship that knows no bounds"

"And which usually results in you getting butchered in front of everyone Eren" laughed a voice from behind me and I glanced up to spot Connie Springer, sporting a fresh buzz cut and a single lunch box, no doubt stacked with food he had saved for his so-called girlfriend, Sasha.

"Like I said, knows no bounds" I winked, holding up a hand to snatch the lunch box from him, earning a splutter of dissent.

As Connie attempted to convince me to hand over the lunch box, more members of the campus filed in, some chattering in groups, other preferring to sit alone and silent, in particular a transfer student from Germany called Annie, stoic and blond and with eyes that practically spelt out that she would murder you should you shoot a word in her direction.

"C'mon Eren, hand it over before Sash gets here!" Connie pleaded, hanging over his table to swing his arms like some fleshy fern, fingers grasping pathetically at air as he tried to recover his lost treasure.

"No way, I'm starving. Sorry Armin, organic juice and kiwi for breakfast just doesn't cut it" I teased, opening the box and peering inside as a new figure sank onto the bench beside me, setting out her books in quick fashion before turning her thin, impenetrable black eyes upon me. 

"You didn't sleep" she observed quietly, muffled under Connie's continued protests.

"Well noticed" I muttered under my breath only to earn a worried crease from her brows to which I shook my head and replied "We'll talk later. It's not what you think".

Really, I didn't want to spend my first day back in class with Mikasa worrying over me like the mother hen she loved to play. It might have been easy to put up with in my earlier years, but now the support just made me feel sick. Dragging others down with me wasn't really the lifestyle that I wanted to pursue, especially concerning my friends.

And so, I drew the smile back on my face and waved the box at Connie, my hand unlatching it and threatening to dip inside before-

Twack.

The box tumbled from my grip and hit the floor with a sad thud, rolling once onto its side before lying still defeated. But my eyes didn't stay long on the fallen plastic container. Now, they were fixed on the one who had kicked it out of my hand.

I'd been prepared to accost, to shout, to even throw a punch if needed at the perpetrator of the act. Hell, if it was Jean, I'd have welcomed it. But my fists had grown slack as my eyes met with a pair of steel grey ones, hidden beneath slender, curving lids, eyebrows setting them in a disdainful expression. 

"No eating in class shitty brats"

The voice that came from the man shocked me back into reality and I had to physically lower myself from the half-fighting stance I had managed to achieve in those short few seconds, coming back to rest on the bench as he turned and left, seeming to somewhat stalk to the front of the class, black strands of hair contrasting greatly against the pale set of his skin. Something in his face left me with the with to turn my own away, the features of the other akin to a statue, as though they'd been formed on marble than flesh. Each portion of his body seemed as though it had been planned indeed by a painter of the sublime, to the point where I physically did not want to look at him. Even his clothes seemed to have been handpicked from a costume designer's catalogue, the entire image of this person seeming at odds against the setting, from his detached grey eyes to his thin figure, he seemed far more suited to a novel than the International University of Languages, Tokyo. And I couldn't bring myself to detract from the thought that I'd seen the eyes once before, or at least the shade at least. Like thick rainwater on shards of metal. 

"Oi, Eren, pass me the box plea-"

But the sentence didn't reach me as Connie too was silenced by a glare from the man at the front of the class, all students eyes fixed on him as he surveyed us before letting his eyes come to rest directly on me.

"Get up" he ordered, and for a second I thought he was merely calling me to stand in front of the whole room, my heart lurching at the thought and my mouth going dry. But this happened to be the way he appeared to call students to say morning greetings, his mouth not so much as shifting from its down turned shape. Save for me. My voice seemed to have deserted me.

The only thing I seemed able to focus on were the letters affixed to the board behind him, seeming to blare at me with an incessant need to be seen.

'Assistant student teacher, Levi. Learn or get out'

And from then on, managing to sleep though the night was the least of my worries.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi? Smiling? The horror O_O

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter finished, looking forward to writing some more and advancing the plot. A huge thank you to anyone who reads and enjoys even the tiniest bit ^_^

"Eren! Hey, Eren!"

I looked up from my phone screen to spot Armin waving vigorously over at me, keeping our meagre few friends in tow, all of them wearing looks varying from traumatised to reflective. Perhaps most of them leaning towards the former expression. 

Honestly, I hadn't meant to act out on the first day of class, and I wasn't to my knowledge a person who took joy in manipulating substitute teachers to their whim. In fact, I was fully prepared to listen to whatever came out of Levi's mouth, be it profoundly intelligent or complete shit.

Unfortunately, I hadn't had much opportunity to find out.

Little than a few minutes had passed since the man had round-house kicked Connie's lunchbox out of my hands before my temper decided it had been too long since I let it off its leash. This was where Jean had come in.

If it had been anyone else, perhaps I could've taken heed to both of Armin's arms flashing up to secure me, or Mikasa's warning hand on my knee. But to be honest, not even the presence of the violent student happened to be enough to stop me from climbing two rows down and socking Jean in the head once the words 'Yeah, but we all know how Eren is. Poor guy's mum, no wonder she ate a bullet'

The events immediately after had been a blur, my mind refusing to process anything but the red-hot rage screaming through my veins. Not again. A single mention of my mother and I could do little but turn into a monster.

Cries of 'Eren, calm down!' and 'Jean! Look out' were lost on me as I continued to try to destroy the progenitor of the words. Yet the only thing I felt were two hands, one moving to catch my arm and the other flying forwards to hit my stomach, knocking the fight out of me as I sank to the ground. My fists, previously clenched and a livid white at the knuckles, went limp at my sides as I blinked slowly, perfect silence falling over the room apart from the soft snivelling coming from Jean, a thin line of blood tracing the base of his chin.

And then I'd had to face him. Levi standing over me with the same, apathetic expression, yet towards me, I wonder if I imagined the hint of pity in his eyes, or rather amusement. As though seeing another human in such a state was indeed laughable to him.

"Alright kid, smart thing to do is to hold your hands up and leave" 

The words surprised me and shocked me back to reality, realising that the sentence held a warning, his gaze moving over my shaking shoulders and wide eyes, clearly perceiving that I was unable to think or act rationally at this point in time. I was lucky Jean's wound had come from him stumbling backwards, rather than my fists. I had little doubt that if my hand had dealt such injuries, Professor Shadis would have happily returned the favour in double. Yet Levi looked about as concerned as usual, face impassive as he kept his eyes on me, head taking on a near imperceivable tilt as he surveyed my reaction, any thought he may have conjured due to it contained within the steely eyes that reflected my face back at me, in hues of grey and black. And there, in the line of his mouth, I noticed a slight curve, a smile that did not stray to his gaze, one that almost appeared as though he were containing a laugh. 

He didn't care about Jean in the slightest. He was mocking me. 

Without even a glance to another member of the class, I stumbled backwards, avoiding the stares of both Armin and Mikasa as I took my bag and fled, Levi's eyes finally shifting away from me and back onto the scene at hand, Jean by this point having covered the lower portion of his face in tissues. I curved my way around the corridor and kept walking with my head down, feet skimming the faux marble floor in quick succession, my pace increasing and not stopping until I had reached the cafeteria. 

Which is where I had spent the last two hours being an utterly useless member of society on my phone.

Armin joined me at our normal table, followed by Mikasa, Sasha, Connie and two students new to the year we'd figuratively adopted called Reiner and Bertolt, both of whom seemed to respectively outmuscle and outsize the rest of the common population, myself included. 

"That short guy…he took things too far" Mikasa muttered through clenched teeth, falling back into her usual seat beside me and taking my hand in worry, eyes roving over my person to find any bruise that could possibly be attributed to Levi.

"Well Eren, I don't think there're many people who can restrain you when you go rogue" Connie shrugged, seemingly content now that he had retrieved his lunch box, Sasha happily withdrawing a baked potato wrapped in foil he'd prepared for her.

"I'm sorry guys" I sighed, running a hand through my hair and squeezing my eyes shut, the lack of rest I'd had the previous night coming back to haunt me. 

"Eren" Armin sighed, sitting down on my other side and shifting his books in his lap "You can go back to the dorms if you need to rest. I'm sure they'll let you off if I explain the situation-"

"I don't need to rest" I immediately answered, turning my head to the side only to earn Armin's hand on my shoulder, his usually carefree face creased with worry.

"What Jean said was uncalled for, but your reaction gave away more than you think", he spoke in an undertone so only Mikasa and I could hear, the others either politely or unknowingly staying out of our little conversation "Let us help you Eren, it's not weak just to ask for help when it's needed. We're your friends right? Talk to us".

"I just don't want or need to talk about it Armin. It doesn't matter, it's been what, five years? I'm twenty now, it's my problem that I need to deal with. I don't need pity from anyone" I replied, brushing his hand away before getting to my feet "I'm going for a walk. No, really, stay here. I want some time to think of an excuse before Jean applies for my expulsion".

The two of them exchanged heavy glances before nodding, Mikasa with exceptional reluctance, both agreeing to stay in place. 

Breathing an inward sigh of relief, I turned and pulled my bag over my shoulder, the faded green rucksack heaving with the weight of my books, its age so great it could barely stand one copy of 'Two Unit French for Continuers'.

One step outside breathed new life into my lungs as I fell back onto the grass that marked the embankment that served as the student garden, imagining for a moment that I was back at the house in Rothenburg, my mother hanging out laundry behind me as I watched the clouds converge into white puddles on a blue canvas, her voice carrying on the wind as she sung a soft tune.

The words may have been far from a settling lullaby, but they brought my heart back to its regular beats, my mouth moving slowly along with the lyrics as I murmured the tune to my audience of grass blades and any onlooking birds. A lulling tone that brought me a means to escape thought and reason, a moment of respite and escapism. 

"Didn't know you were a choir boy, brat" 

My eyes shot open from their resting mast and I wildly turned around, using my arms to push me up to a sitting position, my head giving a dull throb as the blood rushed to it far quicker than it found agreeable. 

Leaning against the immaculate brick wall was possibly one of the last people I'd been hoping to encounter in the garden. Hell, even stumbling across Annie taking her morning sermons of 'I hate the world and everyone in it' might have sounded more appealing. A leather bag with a single strap wound its way over Levi's shoulder, somehow furthering his air of detachment, a black stain marring the pale greys and blues that constituted the rest of his attire. 

"Haven't practiced in a while, how do you think it's coming along?" I asked, brushing the stray beads of dew from my jeans before getting to my feet, pushing a few strands of stubborn hair out of my eyes which had settled there over the course of my cat nap. 

"It speaks" he said with a slow clap, honestly not looking particularly impressed by the thought or actually holding the ability to be impressed by anything "We are making progress". 

I scoffed quietly, pulling my bag off the ground and having the idea to walk over to him, feeling a rush of superiority when I found that I was a good two inches taller than the man, a smile coming far more naturally to my lips as I slid my hands into my pockets, somewhat smug "Yes, I also happen to be able to write, eat, drink and procure actual thoughts at times. Where's my gold star?" 

The man flicked his eyes up to me before turning them away, although I found myself praying for a moment that my refusal to submit to his bullying might have earned me an ounce of respect. Or hatred. Probably the latter. 

"I came to inform you that the classmate you took your fists to is whining about getting you suspended from classes until his nose takes it upon itself to heal" he muttered, never varying from his tone of almost remarkable indifference "But as you are a human of such extraordinary capabilities, to think, you can actually manage the task of thinking, I was considering giving you a slightly less enjoyable task than lounging around your room for the remainder of time Kirstein takes to heal". 

"You know our names?" I asked in genuine surprise. 

"When a person keeps yelling 'My name is Jean Kirstein and my father will hear about this' then yes, unfortunately it makes its way into my memory" 

"Oh" was all I could respond with, feeling an unexplained sense of disappointment come over me as I looked to the side, attempting to carry off the 'I couldn't care less' attitude he seemed to so easily wear, with what was most likely abysmal failure. 

Levi took no time to analyse my shift in tone, instead turning and beginning to walk, one hand in his pocket, the other swinging lazily by his side, my eyes following the man's movements before trailing aware, sure our conversation was over and I was indeed to be subjected to suspension. Until he spoke. 

"Alright then, brat, come to the staff courtyard tomorrow when you have third period and I'll see what I can do in terms of reparations. Shadis doesn't seem to keen on handling you, so unfortunately that task falls to me" he called back, waving a hand as he moved to the door before pausing on the threshold. 

"And perhaps I'll even give you time to practice your soprano solo, Jaeger" he smirked, the expression enough to leave me stunned and cemented where I stood, too shocked that the man was capable of conjuring something resembling a true smile to register that he knew my name. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which interaction occurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I am hoping to be moving this along soon, another promise that this is not going to be a teacher x student story, although it may seem it's heading in that generic path :S But I can't reveal much for now ;)  
> Thank you for reading! ^0^

I couldn't exactly pinpoint when I found my mind giving more thoughts than necessary to Levi, but I knew they occurred at their worst sometime around 3 am and tended to end when the first rays of daylight had entered the dome of clouds that covered Tokyo. As such, I had taken up something I had previously sworn I would never be seen alive partaking in. Morning jogging.

"Keep up Eren!"

I groaned and forced my burning legs to drive further over the gravel path, the group of luridly garmented university track runners hovering on the corner so as not to lose me. I wished they would. 

Armin eventually waved them on as I stopped by a bench and collapsed back into it, admitting defeat for what felt like the millionth time in a row. But my friend saw little need to fuss over me, as it was clear from the rapid inhalations I sought that it was merely my poor fitness coming back to haunt me, as opposed to anything more sinister.

As a child, I'd constantly been brimming with enthusiasm to partake in any activity, possessing the energy that I would now most likely equate to a hummingbird pumped full of caffeine. Even the memories of having such a penchant for calisthenics caused my entire being to wither at the thought. But now, while my body hadn't taken on two many outward repercussions, my lungs certainly had.

"Really, it's tough this morning" Armin yawned, stretching his arms behind his head before unlatching one of the two miniature water bottles he'd strapped to his weight belt, handing it over to me "I don't blame you for wanting to take a break".

More than a break, I was honestly considering keeling over and dying. But he was trying to make me feel as though my main form of exercise hadn't been incidental over the past five years, and somehow, I appreciated it. Even if his appearance constituted of sweat shorts and a blue lycra running shirt. With the addition of the tiny water bottles he carried at his hip, it was hard not to suppress a snort of laughter at my aesthetically clueless companion. 

He stayed with me for as long as it took to realise my lungs had sustained serious damage before he tossed me another water bottle and bid me farewell, jumping back up and almost springing his way out of sight. The mere thought of one person possessing so much eagerness to exercise made me cringe internally.

Snagging my bag from the small locker we'd registered at the train station, I took small sips from the water bottle he'd supplied me with, more as something to do as I waited for the train to arrive, people beginning to swarm around me, a myriad of business suits and school uniforms, at odd contrast with the normally colourful ensembles sported by the patrons at Ikebukuro or Shinjuku. Well, I wouldn't have expected different in Roppongi. 

The overhead announcer informed me that the train would be arriving in two minutes time and I twirled the now empty bottle between my fingers, casting an eye over the advertisements peppering the opposite wall, which varied from promising hair regrowth to displaying the rather wide array of bear shaped toothbrushes available to Nakayoshi subscribers.

Yet, for all the exertion of the morning (and the fluorescent colours of the aforementioned toothbrushes glaring at me), I hadn't been able to drive thoughts that linked back to Levi out of my head. Which I pertained mainly to our encounter the week before.

As promised, I'd turned up at the location he'd specified (perhaps a little earlier than he'd requested) and taken a seat on one of the stone blocks situated in the courtyard, watching my reflection in the surrounding glass walls, a disheveled, green eyed, sleep-deprived copy of me staring back. No wonder I'd attempted to look past this image. None of it was my fault.

It certainly wasn't my fault that Levi decided to change his shirt due to the heat, in his office without drawing the curtains. It definitely wasn't my fault that I happened to be looking when he did so. And it unquestionably wasn't my fault that his eyes meeting mine turned my entire face the colour of arterial blood. I wondered briefly if he'd done it on purpose at the time, the simple cliche of the act being enough to convince me that perhaps he had. It wasn't simply the matter that he was what I suppose women would consider an attractive man, it was the shame that clouded my vision as he caught my glance, and the fact now that he'd most likely drawn the conclusion that I was a reprobate of some sort.

I'd been avoiding the man in question since then, leaving notice that I would complete any tasks he'd assign me as long as they were emailed. Because it was hard to become overtly embarrassed in relation to an email. Yet I was sure by now that Levi either thought I was a coward, a generate, a pervert, or simply a magnificent compounding of all three.

"So fucking stupid" I muttered, tapping the empty bottle against my forehead and earning a selection of huffs from the business man behind me as the train pulled to a stop in front of us.

* 

A shower ten minutes before I was due to the lecture theatre in retrospect perhaps wasn't the best idea as I arrived to class, hair still damp and clothes in a general state of disarray. Taking the walk of shame to my seat (relocated at the back of the room so as best to avoid Professor Shadis' cursory glares) I collapsed back and let out a long sigh, Mikasa leaning over to bid me good morning, Armin having been granted a free period set for half the day. Perhaps he was purchasing more water bottles for his collection.

As usual, Levi arrived dead on time, taking his seat in the corner of the room by the window, Professor Shadis only using him as a referral when needed, leaving the man to spend a great deal of his time scribbling in a thin black book he seemed to constantly have spread upon his lap, or survey us with general disdain. Occasionally, he would multitask and do both at the same time.

"What's the problem with you Jaeger, period cramps?" Jean called back at me, also having slunk back from his usual position at the front of the class, not letting me escape his torment so easily. Yet, mostly his insults were awful enough that they didn't warrant a response. He did a perfect job of embarrassing himself without my assistance.

Mikasa however, having grown to detest Jean to a level that even I couldn't fully comprehend, purposefully moved an arm around my shoulders to pull me against her, pressing her forehead against mine and murmuring "Your temperature feels a little higher than usual Eren, do you want me to take you back to the dorms?"

Jean's eyes went wide before he clenched his teeth and turned around, bitter over the fact that the guy he hated the most in the entire class happened to be best friends with the girl he would die to have one date with. My silent but deadly victory brought a smile over my lips as I shook my head and leant back in my seat, more at ease knowing Mikasa was on my side, making up my two man army against Jean Kirstein.

As soon as Professor Shadis began the lesson, voice grating upon the ears of all who listened, I took a rare opportunity to turn my attention to Levi, only to see his gaze fixed directly upon me. And like that, my mood was gone. Of course, I could just give in and accede to attend a single one of his meeting dates. In fact, I might have even have been able to arrive on time. After being dragged kicking and screaming. 

Class managed to progress with an air of normalcy for approximately half-an-hour, Shadis managing to hold us all under a decent air of control with occasional interjection from Levi, the latter taking the helm as we moved into translations, writing words upon the board in his flowing, slightly curled script, the movement of the marker absent from the usually high-pitched screech Professor Shadis preferred to subject us to.

And perhaps the lesson may have continued as such, had I not laughed at Connie, who had been scribbling as many pick-up lines in French as he deemed possible in his notepad, the latest one translating loosely to 'If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?'

"Oi, brat, what's so funny you have to subject us all to your snorting?"

Levi's accosting of students was usually fairly amusing. Of course, when it wasn't addressed at me.

"Ah, nothing, I just-"

"He wanted to ask you a question" Jean moved in on the kill, snatching Connie's book from my hands and holding it in front of his nose, clearing his throat importantly before asking "Levi. Si je te disais que tu as un beau corps, tu m'en tiendrais rigour? Love from Eren"

The class went silent, including Levi, who moved his eyes from Jean to me in less than a second, for a moment appearing as though he actually was going to skin us both before yawning and waving a hand, turning back to the board "Whilst I appreciate the compliments Kirstein, you'd think you'd be able to find a better way to convey your feelings than using Jaeger as a scapegoat. So why don't the both of you finish translating the assigned paragraph on the board?"

The sigh of relief I'd breathed when he'd discounted the proposition that I had written those words was quickly replaced with panic as I realised I would have to complete an advanced translation in front of the class. Work I had no idea how exactly to approach. Or translate. Or even consider.

But as Jean began his walk of shame, I scrambled to my feet and followed after him, slipping slightly on the stairs before we came to both stand at the board, Levi passing each of us a sheet of paper to commence work on. As his fingers briefly skimmed mine however, I withdrew them quicker than probably necessary, avoiding making eye contact and turning to the board, pausing before glancing down at the words printed on the page. 

The poem gleamed up at me with malice, each stanza drifting more and more into the realms of runes than actual words. I struggled even with the Japanese and English that made up any piece concocted by Edgar Allan Poe. How would I be able to manage such a feat?

My heart began to thrum uneasily within my chest as I shifted from one foot to the other, uncapping the marker in front of me and resting it on the white surface in front of me, pretending to give a cursory glance over the paper I'd been supplied with. 

Jean had already begun work, his hand moving back and forth across the board in fluid motion, barely pausing as he easily navigated his way through the task. A sense of incredulousness had begun to spread through the pit of my stomach as I watched him, now aware of just how imbecilic I would appear in comparison. And from the grin on his face, he had reached this conclusion as well.

My teeth bit into my lip as I faced the first line of the poem again, bringing my hand up to the board once more before beginning my attempt, the marker shaking lightly in my fingers as I heard Shadis continue to teach behind me, Levi undoubtedly having returned to his post at the window. And then…my phone gave a soft buzz in my pocket. Barely daring to breath, I inched it out inside my vest, nestling it against the loose grey shirt I'd donned, punching my passcode in hurriedly to see a message from Mikasa lighting up the screen, accompanied by an attachment.

'The Raven-French Translation by Charles Baudelaire'

Did I really want to cheat? The answer was obviously yes, as my hand was already hurriedly scribbling down the lines, but still, somehow I felt like there was something wrong with the action, something that disobeyed whatever moral code I'd attempted to develop. Somehow, fooling Levi was an aspect of this I also took into equation, caught between actually wanting to impress the seemingly emotionless man yet also feeling a sense of unease at presenting work that was not mine to a person of such quick wit. What if he identified me as a fraud? Or even worse, praised Jean and sent me back to my desk with an ego bruised beyond repair? 

Finishing and returning my phone to my jean pocket, I turned around to watch Levi's gaze flit over the transcribed poem, stopping on areas I'd purposely left mistakes in so as to throw him off the scent, an addition I'd made so as to satisfy the voice of conscience whining from deep within my brain. 

The bell chimed in a low tune and the class immediately broke from their seats, scattering and chatting, filing out the door as one as Levi returned his gaze to me, holding me in place as Jean slid by and away, Mikasa signalling that she'd wait for me outside.

Once all was silent, Levi moved over to the board, re-reading my work before turning his eyes back to me, steel grey upon muted green, the latter wide with fear and apprehension. 

"I appreciate your intent brat, but butchering Baudelaire wasn't exactly what I had in mind" he murmured, taking the board eraser and scrubbing out a large portion of my translation "Perhaps listening would've been a better option in class as opposed to entertaining Springer's inane chatter". 

My canines bit down on the side of my mouth as I watched his profile, torn between apologising as I know I should, or remaining quiet in childish defiance, an unfortunate trait which seemed to rear its ugly head at any opportunity it found. 

Levi seemed to notice the shift in my stature, for he took his roll list out and drew a thin finger down it, stopping at my name. "Jaeger. You stay in the university dorms yes?"

"Yes" I replied quietly, not giving him the satisfaction of tacking on a 'sir' at the end.

"Right. Then you should know that plenty of staff do as well. Including me. Now, as much as I hate insolent brats who don't listen to their superiors, or give them the time of day to turn up to a scheduled meeting-"

"I told you I was busy" I said incredulously, not believing he was choosing to censure me over such a thing.

"-I can tutor you every third day as long as you promise to stop being a spoilt shit. I'll help you as long as you show an ounce of gratitude and don't waste my time".

The pause that followed left the silence almost palpable between us, me with my mouth almost hanging off its hinges and Levi watching me with an expression I could possibly have dared to label a smirk of sorts.

"You'll tutor me?" I summarised in shock, before realising I was only giving him the opportunity to insult me, taking a breath before recovering and nodding, even daring to feel a little happy at the thought "Yeah…I mean, thanks. But wouldn't that take up too much of your time?"

"I told you, every third evening. My time during the first term is unfortunately going to be dedicated to assisting students who need it, at least, that's what the university has made me promise. All student teachers take on one problem case. You're mine. Congratulations" he said, closing his eyes before flicking a spot of invisible dirt off his shoulder and taking his books "So, six suits me, I don't care if it suits you, make it do so. Ditch me and you'll be wishing I'd married you to Kirstein".

Without even saying goodbye, he brushed past me and exited the classroom, leaving me alone to gather my things and follow, actually managing to elicit a smile from my lips.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧  
> Finally, a point in the plot where something of shipping note happens, my sincere apologies for the slow start ;-;  
> Thank you all for reading again, I'm looking forward to continuing ^_^

"Mm, Levi...would you kiss me if I asked?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself brat"

Through the haze of the dream I could hear my own voice, so weak compared to the soft murmur I'd conjured to replicate Levi. The cool hands that cupped my cheeks, the pitch in my stomach as I leant in to take his lips, it seemed far too sentient to be a product of my imagination. 

Wait. No. As my mind managed to fight its way back to clarity, I frowned in an attempt to push off the dream, my senses immediately rejecting such an idea with every fibre of my being. Yet the woeful figure I recognised as myself stood alone in the shifting landscape, a creature I immediately hated as I saw the soft carmine rouging his lips, evidence of the image that had elicited the side of my brain capable of logical thought. And so, drawing my arm back, I threw it in the figure's face, hoping that perhaps by injuring what was technically myself I would awaken and be free of memories pertaining to the dream in question. Which worked quite well.

I awoke to the buzzing of my phone and rolled over to check the alarm, my eyes too tired to fully register the words. Apart from Levi. And six. And being married to Jean unless I was ready and chipper by the time he arrived.

Sitting bolt upright, I shakily pushed the phone back into its charging dock and rolled to the floor, landing inelegantly upon the wood before convincing my muscles to push myself to my feet, head spinning from the sudden movements. Levi. Here. Ten minutes. Tutoring. Fuck.

A glance in the mirror told me my hair could have comfortably nested a large family of birds, a soft groan coming from between my lips as I raked my hand through it, after much negotiation managing to settle it with a brush, moving backwards to my wardrobe and pulling it open. Having hastily stuffed all of the clothing I owned inside, I got to my knees and began to rifle through the pile, selecting a pair of jeans and simple brown shirt, trying to throw off the infuriating thought that I should dress up for this man. 

Despite my violent exit from the dream that had prompted the current of anger that was presently taking up residence within my body, the sensation of Levi's lips against my own did not take it upon itself to leave, sitting quite comfortably within my skull and replying the shameful sequence on what seemed to be a continuous loop. 

And so, once my body-creased sheets had been straightened and my books hastily scattered over my desk (I surmised I had to at least look like I was studying all the time I was asleep), I waited on my bed, elbows on my knees as I tapped my foot impatiently, trying to drive my mind from the very dream that continued to plague me.

-Levi-

Tutoring any member of my class happened to be the last thing I wanted to do with my evening, but here I was, a lone figure in the corridor that lead to Eren Jaeger's dormitory. Honestly, one look at the kid's face and I found myself torn between the desire to taunt or simply marvel in silence at the emotions splayed so obviously over his face, far more entertaining than any theatre production I had ever attended. Perhaps the New National Theatre should consider recruiting him. 

A short sigh escaped my lips as I drew to a stop in front of the dormitory door, the dim light of a computer screen lighting the crack under the wooden structure, driving my mind to wonder as to whether the room's occupant was studying or absorbed in the wonders of social media. Probably the latter. 

With a twist of my wrist, the door flew open and I turned eyes towards the figure on the bed, his foot tapping a steady rhythm against the floorboards until he caught sight of me, his eyes widening in brief surprise and I wondered if he had somehow been preoccupied otherwise. After all, I would never attempt to understand the thoughts that worked their way through Eren Jaeger's brain. 

"Alright, get in your seat" I ordered with a yawn, waving a hand for him to stand, feeling my eye twitch as he eagerly obeyed, suddenly towering over me. Irritating little shit.

"I didn't think you'd turn up at all" he admitted, lowering himself into the seat by the computer and allowing the beginnings of a smile to pull at his lips, fumbling behind him for a book and consequently dropping his attempts at good humour as it dropped at my feet, courtesy of his poor coordination.

"I almost didn't, tutoring you is not the best thing I can think of to spend my night on" I replied, taking his previous seat on the bed and folding one leg over the other, refusing to let my amusement show as his smile fell away, the sliver of offence he took obvious in his expression. Too easy to read.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. Thanks for this, really, I actually-"

"Save it Jaeger" I said, betraying the smallest of smirks as I reached for his notebook, flicking it open to the latest page and reading the words he'd left scribbled across it "If you've got something to say, dictate it to me in perfect French. Or get your friend Jean to pass it on again".

Ah, there it was. The shade of pure red that spread over his cheeks and nose, the way he froze in place at the words before immediately becoming defensive "Those words were something I would never say to you, be it in French or otherwise".

"Sweet" I replied disinterestedly, tossing him his notebook before leaning my chin into my hand "Now, your main problem lies in your basic inability to listen. Or comprehend. So allow me to assist".

Nodding, he shifted closer with slight reluctance as I picked up his core textbook, flipping it to the newest chapter and allowing him to peer over as I moved my finger across the lines, pointing out the corrections he'd have to make, opting out of using a red pen to mark them. We'd end up with a butchered page if I did so.

-Eren-

The heat born from humiliation that had settled in my cheeks refused to die down after Levi's remarks, but somehow, the even tone of his voice brought my attention back to the text, brow furrowing as I realised just how little effort I'd actually placed into the translation. Really, to him I must have seemed like a simpleton of sorts, rather than what I actually knew myself to be. Lazy. 

Taking the closest pen, I began to work through the text again, eyes narrowed in focus as I fought to gain a single positive words, perhaps even a nod of approval. Yet, at the end, all I received was a 'Hmph'

Well, perhaps that was his version of the greatest praise imaginable. I had after all barely see him crack a smile, apart from at other's expense. 

Two hours passed without my notice, Levi working through the text with the efficiency of a militaristic operator, often making me redo passages thrice for the purpose of 'memorisation'. Or his amusement, which was what I deemed more likely.

Yet he apparently was keeping track of the time, his eyes drawing away from our progress and to the tiny alarm clock by my bed, the tiny plastic contraption having suffered many a punch in the early hours of the morning, signalling that he was free to leave. But I received nothing, not a word of 'nice work' or 'well done' came from his lips as he let out what seemed like the hundredth yawn and got to his feet, snapping the books shut and setting them back on my desk.

"Right Jaeger, I'm expecting improvements next time. If not, I'll assume this is an entire waste of time and you're a lost cause" he said with a rub of an eye, getting to his feet and stretching before turning. 

It seemed however my mind was against me, faint illustrations from my dream filtering across my vision until I grit my teeth and got up from my seat, resolving to go to the bathroom and hide whatever sign it left upon me. "Right, sorry to occupy your precious time" I muttered in response, perhaps a tad harsher than I'd intended, the images beginning to give me a headache as they continued to circulate, insisting I pay attention to them 

As I turned away however, a set of slender fingers curled around my wrist, turning me back so I stood face to face with Levi, suddenly impressed by the ability the man possessed to make himself seem to much taller than he actually was, finding myself with the urge to shrink away.

"Perhaps the word 'gratitude' dwells somewhere within your vocabulary?" he asked quietly, pale digits biting into my wrist, just enough to make me fully aware of the strength he possessed, enough that I knew that my insolence would most likely earn me a bruise. Well, if I was going to be injured anyway, why not make it worth while.

"Why, I don't think it does. My sincere apologies" I shot back, attempting to pull free but at the same moment almost painfully aware of how immature I was being, to the point where I actually found myself irritating. 

It seemed Levi did too, his eyes darkening as I felt the grip on my wrist tighten, almost surely bruising the skin. But it was the excuse I'd been waiting for.

My front foot moved forwards and my free hand moved to cup his chin, tilting it up as I pressed my lips to his, seeking both to satisfy the urging voice inside my head, to irradiate its persona from my mind once and for all. 

Unfortunately, my expectation didn't quite live up to what I'd hoped.

I'd barely managed to brush his lips when an arm moved behind my waist, yanking me to the side with enough force to unbalance me, my eyes widening as I hit the back of the door, Levi parting my lips easily with his own, my hands fumbling against his shoulders as I struggled to right myself. But I'd made the awful mistake of crossing him.

His tongue moved easily over mine, invading my mouth and intoxicating me both with the denial of air and the taste I could only attribute to him. He seemed intent only on beating me down, no affection in his movements as my knees gave way beneath me, Levi's hands having reached the base of my spine and pulled me against him, depriving me of both oxygen and intelligent thought. 

But just as I brought a hand up to rest on the side of his face, just as I moved my lips to respond to his perhaps out of sheer insanity, he pulled back, letting me drop to the floor, his hand under my elbow the only thing stopping me from hitting it with the full force of my dead weight.

"Don't even try it" he murmured, eyes shifting back to their usual cold set as he let go of my arm, leaving without another word.


	5. Chapter 5

If any person of any relation to you has told you to rely on your gut instincts and let the pieces fall into place, let me give you some advice. Don't fucking do it.

It seemed my voice had become able to do little more than groan and choke, both of these rather unappealing noises in reaction to the fact that I was unable to stop myself from wincing constantly. And I had no one to blame but myself.

The weekend seemed like a beautiful saviour clad in freedom as it approached, my mind painfully aware of the fact that I was succumbing to cowardice, my supposed 'stomach ache' that I was inducing through the incurable cringing allowing me two free days off of classes. And away from Levi.

As such, spread across my desk was a scattered pile of sheets, contrasting to their general state of disarray with the fact that none of them had been touched. Angry scribbles from Professor Shadis marred their margins, instructing me on how exactly to progress through the work, but my mind had registered only the curling script that had arrived at the base of the latest page, simply reading 'Je suppose que je dois m'excuser'. 'I suppose I must apologise'. Apologise to me? For what exactly, refusing to stop me acting as though I were mentally deficient? 

I had little reasoning beyond pure instinct for why I had chosen to kiss him. It couldn't be pertained to an attraction, at least, not one I was aware of. And not one that I was willing to give reasonable thought to. 

Turning on my bed, I propped my laptop against the shelf of my hips, the hem of my shirt accidentally receding at the movement and causing me to flinch, the metal base of the contraption searing my skin and alerting me to just how long I'd been scrolling over various dashboards and inane videos. Close to six hours.

My eyelids drew closed for a moment before I realised how dry my vision had become, the dilation of my pupil near excruciating as I shut the lid of the computer and tossed it back onto my pillow, stretching my legs beneath me before sliding them to the floor.

Evening had begun to paint the horizon in a delicate blush of cerise, clouds moving in a state of detachment across the sky, my eyes following them briefly in an effort to calm themselves. 

The day had passed without my notice, drawn forth on a thread of time that I never seemed to be able to follow, usually swallowed into the void I named the internet. 

With a yawn, I stood, feeling my muscles complain weakly at the effort after their general misuse, walking over to the cupboard and drawing it open. Since Levi's last visit, the clothes still coated the floor in a garden of crinkled fabric, one that I surely knew would have brought a groan of dissent from the man, one who usually presented himself in such a pristine state.

The pyjamas I'd donned for the day ended up being consumed into the pile as I selected a pair of jeans at random, coupled with a grey shirt, snagging my coat from its lone position on the hook on the back of the door. A glance down brought my attention to the strain in the paintwork, the only sign left of the events that transpired to leave me in such an avoidant state.

But I dismissed it without another glance, my hands coming to rest in my pockets as I made my way out of the room and down the corridor, my shadow cutting through the lattice of light painted on the ground by the evening, the sound of music and chatter echoing from beyond certain doors, the clatter of computer keys (study of otherwise) accompanying the noises otherwise. 

Still, I continued back and to the doors of the front dormitory hall, in front of which spilled a lawn split by a large drive, metal gates framing the structure in a fashion starkly different to the modern architecture of the rest of the university. And yet oddly comforting, enough so that I dropped back to lie on the grass, finding a light smile cross my lips as I imagined Levi questioning me as to why exactly all of our encounters seemed to commence with me lying down. Most likely he had developed the view that my penchant for energy was as strong as my love for Jean. Brutally non-existent.

Curling my fingers into the grass, I watched the shadows draw closer to the tips of the buildings silhouetted against the bleeding horizon, red stains seeming to create the effect of the sky becoming the stage for a bloody battle ground. In fact, the sight was so stark that I paid no heed to the small sound of something hitting the ground, only looking up when a separate object landed directly beside my head and I realised with chilling certainty that the shoe in question had almost hit me directly in the face.

I glanced up and over to the dormitories behind me, feeling my muscles freeze in accordance with the sight I drew in. Levi was holding another shoe in hand, his brow creased with what I identified as a semblance of irritation, his fingers tapping against the windowsill as he glared down at me.

Barely taking the time to register that he could (and most likely would) throw another shoe at me, I stood up shakily, brushing myself off before picking up his shoe and holding it up "Do you want this back?"

"Keep it and treasure it with all your might" he replied in a voice laced with sarcasm "Bring it back now, and drag your ass with it. You don't look particularly sick to me Eren, so I'm hoping you've got a well-rehearsed explanation as to why you've been turning in sick leave for the past two days".

As soon as my name left his lips, my mind revisited the urge to admit to a gravitation towards him, but still, with new found resolution, I quashed it. To face Levi and remove any fear or enticement I felt towards him was all I desired. And I repeated this to myself over and over as I began the journey up to his room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may seem a little short and I apologise: my brain seems quite happy with dragging me off to sleep at the moment ;-; But I feel as though I must establish the plot a bit more before it drowns in the sea of all the Eren and Levi fan fiction here XD Thank you for reading as always ^^

My feet slipped on the stairs as I made to take them two at a time, hand trailing along the rail and catching me at every trip, as though my legs refused to learn their lesson, not reducing their speed and carrying me faster towards the third floor. 

Here, the rooms were sparse, fewer doors dotting the corridor that I walked down, my stomach knotting itself into a ball of dissent as I continued. But paying heed to it would be showing weakness. And weakness was something I wished not to subject myself to, especially in the face of this man.

And I had resolved myself to this until I almost walked face first into Armin.

My friend was clutching three rather large textbooks to his chest, each one seeming to promise to be a more arduous read than the next. His reading glasses were pushed up into his blond hair like sunglasses of a sort until they dropped back to his nose as we collided, my hand coming out to steady him as he teetered, small frame almost unbalanced by his load.

"Jesus Armin, the library won't run away before you get there" I laughed, noticing the loan card poking out of the first book, to which he smiled and waved a hand, looking almost sheepish before replying "Mm, I know, I was actually seeing if there was anything there that you'd like, it's probably healthier to be caught in a book than games".

Possessing more intelligence than was probably possible to cram within my skull, Armin honestly spent most of his time either in the library or in his room, frequently pulling me along to the latter in order to 'broaden my horizons' with a set of novels dating back to the time in which I doubted even my grandparents had been an inkling in their parent's minds. 

A small pang of guilt settled across my stomach as I realised I'd been less than good company since the start of term, rubbing a hand over the back of my head before remembering that Levi was most likely planning to skin me should I not make my appearance in under ten seconds.

"Shit, look, I've got to run but thanks for trying to get me something, I'll give something a shot. Can't be too difficult to comprehend" I spoke with false bravado, settling the books back into his arms before hurriedly moving past him, walking backwards to wave "Let's do something tomorrow, okay?"

Armin stifled a laugh behind his hand as I tripped over my own feet at Levi's door, cursing softly and giving a final grin before knocking, the knob twisting and opening for me, allowing me to step inside.

The room was immaculate. Clean to the point where it looked like an Ikea showroom, a thin bed set into the far left wall beside the black-wood desk, a silver spinning stool resting before it. To the right, the wall that served for a storage area in my own room was covered in slender metal boxes, each one lined with books, gleaming against the grey paint of the walls. And leaning against the en-suite bathroom door was Levi himself, dressed in a simple black jacket and jeans complete with a shirt of barely lighter hue. And one shoe secured on his foot.

Ah, the shoe. I felt it in my grip and passed it over without another word, his mouth twitching into a smile at my formality before he moved to take a seat atop the desk, kicking the stool over to me until I obliged to sit, feeling the cool metal even through the denim that constituted my jeans.

"Right kid, spill the story. Have you been avoiding class because you've caught the plague or just to avoid me? My money's on the second option, if you must know". He took a pen from the black netted pot in the corner of his desk and began to flick it around his fingers, my eyes following its path before I sighed and consented to reply.

"I was tired and pissed off that night, I won't make any more excuses than those, but I wasn't too keen to see you after" I muttered, crossing my ankles together in front of me in an effort to appear more at ease "But if you try to get me to confess that to Shadis, I'll deny everything. As far as he knows, I'm deathly ill".

"Agreed, can't have you losing credit points simply because you're too much of a chicken shit to show your face in his lessons" Levi responded, stopping his twirling of the pen before setting it down, leaving me stuck in a silence palpable enough to near scream at me. 

He seemed to notice my discontent as he let the pen return to its comrades in the pot, turning his eyes out the window before letting out a quiet sigh, more resigned than anything "Alright Eren, I won't spill your secret to Professor-" I wondered if I imagined the slight twitch in his voice upon the word 'professor' here- "as long as you stop acting as though I have time to entertain whatever tantrum you seem fit to throw. I honestly don't care if you are going to sulk over the fact that I didn't entertain your whim-"

"It wasn't a whim".

I spoke with surprising clarity, my eyes narrowed as I watched the floor as though it was the most interesting surface I had ever laid my gaze on. 

"It wasn't on a whim that I did that. It was because my piece of shit brain decided that I should kiss you. So I did. And I used to think I had a problem with that, but I don't" I continued coolly, settling back on my chair and ceasing my frown, now allowing what I hoped wasn't an obnoxious smile settle over me, borne more from the success I'd had in silencing my conflicting thoughts than the fact that I'd managed to interrupt him. 

I had arrived at a decision. I would not let Levi tyrannise me over anything, be it my reluctance to study or my attempt at kissing him. I would act purely on what I wanted, and right now, the thought of being on equal terms with Levi was enough to appease me. That and I had another question I wanted answered without ridicule from the man.

"A whim is something more like this" I shrugged, getting to my feet and stepping over to him, placing both my hands on opposite sides of his legs on the desk before leaning in to press my lips to his.

The sensation that settled over me was not one I could label with any words I'd seen transcribed in doujinshi in Akihabara, or in the few romantic classics Armin had spoon fed me in my previous years. 

There was no angelic choir providing a serenade for us. There was no 'white-hot electricity' or a 'sudden explosion of passion'. Hell, there wasn't even a fucking 'doki doki'. 

It was simply enough to settle over my brain and lull me into ease, my lips moving against his until I pulled back, a now resolute smile on my face.

He surveyed me for a moment before asking "How old are you exactly?"

"Twenty"

"And how old do you think I am"

"Well you have the height of your average twelve year old"

"I'm twenty six. Do you think I'm going to waste my time with a kid who's going after me on a whim?"

I stepped back, humming quietly as I turned, hands in my pockets as I stepped towards the door "I said that was a whim. I didn't say that you falling for me was going to be one".

"Fucking brat"

"See you in class". I waved and left, not wiping the smile off my face all the way back to my room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> // Hiiii, I have reappeared ^o^  
> I admit to getting into a depression about how this fic is inferior compared to my favourites, *cough* The Intern *cough*, and letting it sit and gather dust like a sad little story :S
> 
> But I am back, ready for more writing and conversing with myself in these summary bubbles :D I feel we've become quite close…me and these summary bubbles. 
> 
> Anyway, I feel I need to move the story along, so this chapter will hold more content and less of Eren pondering the wonders of cloud formations or terrible video game graphics ^^
> 
> Please enjoy, thank you again, to any person that reads this :D

It was rare to find any one person out of bed past one o'clock at night in any other situation, but in the university's dormitories, the rooms were alive, an assortment of various people committing various deeds. 

Here, the resident playboy played king and constructed his own harem, girls giggling and reclining around him, glad to be seen, to be noticed in the least. Behind the shade of a window, the ever smiling member of social economics class hastily lit a cigarette, one that was to join the countless others crushed on his desk, his hands shaking with the nerves that plagued him every waking moment. Another young man, popular, outgoing and all the other adjectives that entailed, lips locked in a dance with a thin, eye-linered and leather clad boy, eyes stained with tears as he thinks of what repercussions he should face should his comrades find out.

All of this, Levi found amusing.

His mouth twitched into a rare smile under the shadow of his hood as he pushed forwards down the endless lines of corridors, a figure that no one would glance at, too preoccupied with their own little constructed worlds. And this was how he liked it.

Once reaching the gates after traversing the main garden path, he cut across to a side gate, a pale silver fence separating him from the road a two metre drop below, where the single step over would propel one into the first real ground that Tokyo offered. 

And it was this drop the man made, hitting the ground catlike before rising, continuing as though he had merely descended from one step to the other. His walk took his through a winding network of thin alleys, figures looming through the dark but each keeping to their own, not interrupting him as he followed a series of luminous red dots, slammed onto the wall and rather unspectacular, should one not know what they meant. 

Passing each one, he took note of it and shifted to the adjoining alley, continuing down in much the same pattern before stopping, no dots following on from here. It was black, all around him, the dark unlit by the moon which had drowned in the light pollution of the city.

He would have to make his own way.

Wary now, he progressed into the darkness, keen eyes trained on each corner, catching the peripheral images that flitted around him and processing them, adjusting his behaviour accordingly. 

Finally, he drew to a stop, a large green dot marking a gate, about the size of a thumbprint, one so obvious that Levi tore it down in his passing, the sticky paper curling under his grip as he rolled it between his fingers before casting it aside. 

Beyond this small gate was a fairly large door, one that he knocked thrice upon before simply affixing a glare at the peep-hole, allowed entrance a moment later and moving inside, descending a flight of stairs until he reached the base, where a bar lit in glittering silver and other variations of chrome sat, black velvet seats arranged around it and a fish tank allotted to the wall behind, large enough to be considered a pool and housing two horrifically deformed fish, each one more disgusting than its brother.

"Evening".

A collected voice came from one of the occupied seats at the bar, a pair of eyes turning to Levi, accompanied with a smile that could not reach them, yet that left the face far more falsely inviting than before, where it had been fixed in thought. Blond hair was harshly pulled back with gel, yet carried off almost with elegance, a strong face and knife-sharp features giving the man the air of authority.

"Erwin" Levi noted, giving a bare nod and moving over to take his own seat, turning his eyes to the fishes before making a face that could only be described as comical disgust "When exactly are those things going to die?"

"When I decide I've grown bored of them" called another cheerful voice from the door across the room, a women walking at a quick pace across the room, auburn hair tied back in a ponytail so messy it seemed to be a direct challenge to Erwin's ordered locks.

"Levi, I see you got here safely! Did you like the dot idea? It was Erwin's plan, but you appreciated that I made them glow right? You didn't get caught up by the M.P or Guard?" the woman blabbered, leaning forwards on her seat, with a beaming expression which signified she was more excited by the prospect that he had been involved in a fight of sorts.

Levi took the drink offered to him across the bar and took a long sip, watching her before shrugging and turning away "The dots aren't my favourite method of decoration, but I admit they confuse those fuckers out of their minds and allow me to keep my hands clean and knife without need of polishing. So, we're here to discuss…?"

"Grisha's son" Erwin replied, his voice cutting neatly along the end of Levi's sentence "Hanji has attested to his identity and your placement within the university is pivotal to our goal. We need the passcode into his father's devices-"

"And a sample of his blood!" Hanji interrupted excitedly, receiving a glare from the pair of them that did not seem to bother her in the least.

"Yes, a cellular sample would be ideal" Erwin finished her thought, causing Levi to roll his eyes before asking "So, what's stopping us from grabbing the kid and making off with him? The M.P know this is our territory and I doubt the Guard is game enough to take us on in a fight when it comes to a public citizen. Eren Jeager's as good as ours".

"But you forget his potential" Erwin explained, running his fingers down his temples as though attempting to get through to an obstinate child "Not only does he hold the secrets to Grisha's research but he's a specimen that hasn't shown manifestations of the virus itself. If that's indeed what it is. We have no clue as to what effect it could have in his mind if accidentally triggered, a single glance at those fish over there is enough to prove it won't be pretty".

Indeed, Levi's eyes travelled to the pair of fish, grinning through the tank glass at him, eerily still in the liquid, swaying slightly to keep the water running over their gills.

"Leave Sawney and Bean out of this, I think they're beautiful" Hanji employed, pressing her hands to her cheeks and making the sort of eyes one would make at an adorable puppy at the grotesque aquatic creatures.

"Alright, it's settled then. I allow Eren to live out his university days as calmly as possible and integrate my way into his life in any way I can without tipping him off that he's been injected with a substance that can effectively turn him into that" Levi summarised flatly, pointing a finger at Sawney and Bean without even looking at them "Sounds about as fun as ripping my toe nails off whilst listening to a series of country ballads".

"We have no idea what the effects are on humans…yet" Hanji grinned, leaning forwards on her knotted fingers "That's a mere mock-up of the recipe, we won't know for sure until we get into the files Grisha left behind".

"So," Erwin prompted, a tone of finality in his voice "Procure for us a way to get Eren Jeager to provide access to his father's works without congruently causing him any suspicion. Are you able to do this, Levi?"

"I can think of a few ways to get that kid to help us" Levi replied, the flicker of amusement back in his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while! I have little to say in this summary bubble apart from I've missed it so ;^;   
> Forgive any plot misgivings please, I'm trying to edge my way back into it ;) Now, without further ado, let's start!
> 
> (Also, next chapter will have a special surprise and we can really get things moving ;) )

Eren:

Mornings were never a period of time that I enjoyed. It seemed as though all the joy of the night was stripped back by the pale hues of the sun blaring through the clouds, intent upon disturbing all those comfortably installed in their beds. Much like I was at this moment. 

A soft groan passed my lips as I turned and fixed my gaze on the window, squinting and holding up a hand to block out the intrusive sunlight in order to get a decent look at the alarm clock on my bedside table. Blocky, fluorescent numbers read '8:00', this message enough to draw another sound of displeasure from me as I swung my legs around and heaved my body out of bed.

A hand came up to run through my hair, fingers attempting to smooth down the now tangled strands, though they failed miserably, and I settled on taking a shower to somewhat tame the mop. It was not long after I was finished that there was a knock on my door and I jumped out with a towel hastily tied at my waist, a toothbrush between my teeth.

" 'm coming, 'old 'n" I garbled, using my foot to undo the latch before hopping back to the bathroom to spit and rinse. As expected, Armin was waiting, dressed immaculately and with an unimpressed albeit slightly amused expression on his face.

"Morning sunshine" I chimed with what I hoped was a winning grin, though Armin seemed not to fall for it, immediately setting his things down and flinging open the wardrobe, beginning to rifle through the impressively disordered contents. 

"For heaven's sakes Eren, at least lay your outfit out the night before so that when I come to collect you I don't have to deal with /this/" he said pointedly, pulling out a piece of fabric which looked like it may have been a shirt until I'd torn off the arms and apparently not washed it in weeks after a game of football in the mud. The white fabric limply fluttered in his grip, great splotches of brown colouring it far more successfully than the miserable print emblazoned across the chest.

"I think it looks better now" was the only response I could get out before a fresh pair of trousers and a non-mud covered shirt was tossed at me.

Ten minutes later, we were rushing across the campus, Armin fretting over the time and me munching quite contentedly on a piece of toast I'd managed to snag from the kitchens on our way out. The sun was already progressing in its path across the sky and it was well on its way to approaching pride of place amongst the clouds when we arrived in the lecture theatre, the entire class looking back at us with withering expressions.

Armin covered his face with his hand. I waved. And Levi gave me an expression which told me my human worth equated to a piece of chewed up gum on the bottom of his shoe.

The class commenced surprisingly with no snide comments from Jean, Armin helping me with the work Professor Shadis had heaped on us, all of which appeared to make no sense in my eyes. Tapping my pencil against the table, I allowed Armin to work alone on the paired project, something he was no doubt grateful for seeing as I was more of a hinder than a help.

When the overhead announcements began, signalling the end of our double period, I let out a sigh of relief and heaved myself to my feet, the notion of freedom seeming very appealing at this present point in time. However, Levi had other ideas.

Just as Armin was asking whether Mikasa and I were interested in pooling our money for the local Chinese yum cha, the man loomed over us (as well as he could for a person of comically short stature) arms folded and staring down from behind his reading glasses, which I had to admit didn't lessen the slight tension that gripped my chest upon seeing him.

"Jaeger" he noted, the name surprising me as it did not contain any sort of insulting expletive, to the point where I actually answered "Sir?

His lips twisted into the slightest smirk, taking in the slight mocking edge I'd added to the address, before he turned and beckoned "Quick discussion on your progress. Or should I say regress".

My cheeks heated upon hearing the laughter emanating from Jean and his cronies, my fist clenching on the table before I snatched my bag and followed after the man, shooting an apologetic look back to Armin and Mikasa, hoping I could catch them later providing Levi didn't decide to keep me in writing lines until nightfall.

Though, I found myself in the back office, one thankfully devoid of any blackboards that could bare the writing of lines, Levi gesturing to a wooden chair facing a plushy arm chair, obviously a throne the man intended to sit on. And so, like the little shit he knew me to be, I took the armchair, folding one leg over the other and making myself comfortable.

When he returned with two glasses of water, I took satisfaction in seeing the tick go in his temple, amused enough by this to not actually question why he had bothered to bring my a glass of water in the first place. When, in retrospect, this should have been my first point of notice.

It took exactly two seconds for Levi to try and get me out of the arm chair, fixing me with a highly disgusted look before stating quite simply "What the fuck do you think you're doing kid?"

"You offered me a chair, I simply took the one that appealed to me more" I shrugged, folding my arms behind my head and grinning.

Though it appeared Levi wasn't in the mood for our usual banter, his hand shooting out and catching my hair, a sound of pain escaping me as he forced me to my feet, turned promptly around and dropped me into the decidedly less comfortable wooden chair. Well, I hadn't been expecting to be in the armchair for very long after all. At least I'd enjoyed it while it lasted.

"So, about these sheets you turned into me as part of your homework" he yawned, leaning back quite relaxedly in his chair, not bothered in the least by the fact he'd just hauled his student around like a sack of potatoes "It looks awfully like you've put about as much effort into them as you would sucking off a cactus".

I averted my eyes briefly with a stifled laugh, before catching the severity of his gaze and taking the sheets gingerly back. Whilst he'd refrained in the past from marking my work, these sheets were gouged in red slashes, neat incisions into the page where he'd marked a diagonal line next to all the questions I'd gotten wrong. Which happened to be the vast majority of them.

"I…was distracted" I admitted, letting the sheets come down to rest in my lap again, my grip tightening on them ever so slightly. I knew he knew what I was talking about. Or at least, that was what I assumed made his eyes glint ever so slightly with understanding.

"I'm flattered. Really. But my opinion of you is directly related to how much effort you put into your decisions. Be they your classes, or your 'whims'" he hummed, taking a sip of his water before placing the cup down "You're not particularly dedicated. I've been waiting for your love letters outside my door ever since you jumped me".

He found this funny. I could tell immediately from the restrained smirk that lay under his deadpanned expression, and it made me rather frustrated. He would never take me seriously, after all, he looked as though he played with people professionally. 

But as much as I knew that, there was still something oddly fascinating about him. Behind the apathy, behind the snide jokes…there was something else. Not to say that his snarky demeanour was not legitimate, but I felt like there was something I was missing. It was like I'd seen his face before, so long ago that I couldn't place the memory, but enough that his visage was imprinted into my mind. 

I hand't realised I'd been leaning forwards until Levi cleared his throat, the heat from earlier returning to my cheeks as I sank back into my chair, setting the sheets aside and taking the glass of water into my hands. 

"Levi-" I started, the small 'tch' I heard warning me that he didn't like being addressed by his first name so casually, though I ignored him "It wasn't a whim. I'm not about to get on my knees and confess to you, but I do intend to make you consider me seriously".

Consider me seriously? What was it that I wanted? I was attracted to Levi, but I'd be lying if I said I loved him. I barely knew him. The fact that his face was so clearly drawn in my memories continuously drove me back to him, but on top of that, I had to admit that I wanted to crack open the carefully crafted facade that he concealed all emotion behind.

/Eren Jaeger, breaks everything he touches, that kid.../

The voice of the pastoral care administrator shot through my memory's ears but I brushed it away, Levi watching me with an odd scrutiny, before he flicked his gaze away.

"Alright kid, we'll discuss this more when you've calmed down. Have a drink".

And so I did. But mere moments after the water had passed my lips, I knew something was wrong. I should have known something was wrong by him so kindly bringing it to me in the first place. My last image was one of him reaching out to catch me as I fell forwards, vision swimming into nothingness.


End file.
